So today, I'm queasy and nervous. Why? I have my first formal conference with my dissertation mentor tonight via Skype at 5:00. He lives in Australia. I know the topic I want to write about will have to undergo major revision before the committee accepts it - I mean, what are the chances of them reading my pre-pre-proposal (yes, that's 2 "pre"s) and saying, "McBride, it's brilliant. We don't recommend a single change!!!" Ha, I wish. Still, I really like my idea and have been thinking about it for close to two years. Letting go will be hard.

Plus, this first meeting will establish a certain tone for our future meetings, and I want to get it right. I so enjoyed Dr. Sims' class - he was everything I wanted in a graduate professor. But that means he's challenging.

So, tonight is the first formal step on a journey that's going to take up at least the next 18 months of my life.
I'm excited and apprehensive.

So get it started, I'm going to write a letter to my Dissertation, which I will call Dizzie.

Dear Dizzie:
I have no idea what you will be, other than the most challenging project I've ever undertaken. I could promise to put you first in my life at all times, but I know that's not going to happen. I could promise to be the most painstaking and meticulous researcher a dissertation's ever had, but I know that also will not always be the case. I could pledge to always stay on track, but we both know that's a lie. And I'm certainly not going to always love and obey. Times will come, I know, when I will hate you and refuse to bend to your will.

Instead, I vow to do my best. I vow to write about something that I care about and feel needs sharing and exploring with others. I vow to use my best writing skills in crafting you. I vow not to cheat or take shortcuts. And I swear to finish you. I will not abandon you half formed, like Frankenstein without the juice.

Sincerely,
Kelli