I don't think I've seen as brilliant an impersonation since the Dana Carvey days.

As Gena's friend, once critique partner, and web mistress, I'm often asked by fans: "What's Gena REALLY like?" I've decided to share with you the truth behind the fantastic author. From her humble, struggling beginnings as a writer to her current superstar status: you'll find intriguing bits from an insider's perspective.

One question I'm more frequently asked is: "Has Gena changed with her celebrity?" I can honestly say that no she hasn't. And to illustrate this, I am sharing this picture I took of Gena in 2000 at a casual meeting in her home. I'd come over early one afternoon to give her back some books she'd loaned me, and this is how she greeted me. As you can see, Gena has not changed much at all. Except that she only puts on the inflatable bra for special occasions.

Jill, are you sure you didn't get the mumps from some of these "friends" you were partying with? I wouldn't put it past Gena to intentionally infect you, so she could take over at AUTHOR TALK. She looks all kittenish and cute, but kittens have claws. :-)

Yesterday, I saw Spamalot at the OKC Civic Center with a group of friends. Today is my birthday, so it was a nice b-day outing. I admit, I was a bit skeptical about how much I was going to like this adaptation of MONTY PYTHON'S THE HOLY GRAIL. I am a devout lover of this film, and many of my friends and I enjoy recreating dialogue from various scenes, but listening to the soundtrack of the stage version, I wasn't impressed overmuch by several songs.

But in the context of the actual stage show----WOW!! I laughed my ass off. I had tears in my eyes in places. It recreated most of the best scenes from the movie, and added several new twists and turns that brought surprise and delight.

Here are some of my favorite scenes from the movie that were recreated quite faithfully in the stage musical (I know - but it's hard to pick only a couple of favorite scenes from THE HOLY GRAIL):

African v European Swallows and Migrating Coconuts:


Or the French Taunting and catapulting cow:


Sir Launcelot and Swamp Castle:


Tim the Enchanter, the Killer Rabbit, and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch:


Brave Sir Robin and his Minstrels:


The Knights Who Say Ni:


Dennis and the anarcho-syndicalist commune/Strange women lying around in ponds


Bring Out Your Dead:


"We're Knights of the Round Table" ("We eat ham and jam and spam a lot"):


And, amazingly enough, the Black Knight:

Okay, this is freakin' hilarious. Anyone who's ever seen a French film, commerical, etc., and who has studied French in school will love it.



The translation, omitting the chorus of Foux Da Fa Fa, is:
"I would like a croissant"
"Pleased to meet you."
"Where is the library"
"Here is my passeport"
"Gerard Depardieu"
"Baguette!"
Hohn-hohn-hohn...
"Let's go to the supermarket! Grapefruit! Pineapple! Orange Juice! Beef! Soup de Jour. Camembert. Jacques Cousteau. Baguette."
But of course.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello, mister.
Hello my small foreign currency exchange office.
How are you doing?
I'm doing okay.
How are you doing?
I'm doing okay.
Voilà! A conversation in the park!
Where is the book?
At the library.
And the dance music?
At the dance club.
And the dance club?
It's here, baby!
One, two, one, two, three, four!
Where is the swimming pool?
Pardon me?
Where is the swimming pool?
Uh...
Splish splosh
Uh...
Eh...
I don't understand.
Do you speak the French?
Eh?
Do you speak the French?
Uh ... no.
Hmmmm.

This is my second fav vid from the band (as of yet). It's SOOO funny!

Heather sent me a head shot of herself and this other promo pic from Dracula 2000 (which loved, too, Heather). Looks great!

Here you go Heather! Call me your Photoshop Fairy Grandmother. ;-)

Here's an even better shot - I think it looks quite authentic.

Rinda had this great pic of herself at a recent conference, but she suggested that someone edit out the table of food behind her. So I took it upon myself to add some more "interesting" landscapes behind her. Guess which one is my fav:

Jill Monroe had one of the band's vids on her blog, and I couldn't resist putting another up on mine. These guys are SO funny! This is Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros:

Recently, Gena Showalter, my dear friend and one of my FAVORITE authors, was involved in a serious interpretive dance accident. Though the "choreographer" Jill Monroe (another friend and great author) claims Gena is not seriously injured, I have used spectral analysis of Gena's knees to show just how deep the bruising is.

Amazingly enough, the patterns of her bruises seem to form the faces of Lucien and Maddox, the heroes of her first 2 Lords of the Underworld Novels (BTW, I've read both ARCs, and these are Gena's BEST yet - but wear gloves when you pick them up because these covers are hot enough to singe your fingers!!). Lucien is the Keeper of Death and Maddox is the Keeper of Violence - appropriate considering the trauma my dear friend has obviously gone through. You can see her interpretive dance at Author Talk. Click on the Kresley Cole interrogation...oops...I mean "interview."

If you're wondering about Reyes, Keeper of Pain, all you have to do is look at Gena's derriere to see the damage:

I know - it's painful to look at.
So let's all help heal Gena's poor knees. I think buying copies of her latest releases and upcoming releases will send a wave of healing love. (And perhaps a can of Nair for her behind).

Jill and Gena wrote lists that, frankly, did not include boring things. So I am taking the challenge.

1. I have more than 12 moles on my body, and one is the size of a peanut.

2. I know lots of trivial facts, like people throw rice at weddings because in ancient times rice was a symbol of fertility and prosperity. That's also why rice beds (4 poster beds with rice flowers carved on them) are the traditional honeymoon bed.

3. I enjoy writing essays.

4. I find Farm Hustle exciting.

5. I collect tea cups and saucers.

6. I know all the words to La Bamba.

7. My new Samsung Blackjack II (wine) is called Velvet.

8. I love frogs and collect them (see design of this blog).

9. I enjoy reading old writing composition textbooks from the first half of the 20th century.

10. I have the same shirt in 11 different colors.

Okay! How's THAT for boring!!

Wait, what am I so happy about...God! I'm a walking poster for ennui!!! ;-)