Monday, August 29, 2005

Guilty Pleasure Movie #1

These are not in any order. They simply form a body of work that I enjoy for the lowest of reasons.

My first choice: SAHARA with Brooke Shields, Lambert Wilson, and John Rhys-Davies.

Talk about a stinker. Horrible script full of cliches and melodrama. Terrible acting by Shields - in fact, I'm not sure you can even call it acting at all, it's so bad.

So why do I like it? Well, Lambert Wilson is sexy in this movie - though he doesn't have enough screen time, IMHO. I admit, I certainly would not want to live in a tent in the Sahara, and I would assuredly find the culture stiffling; however the idea of so entrancing and bewitching a man that he is willing to kidnap me, and even defy his people for me, and then let me go to pursue my dream....well, that's the stuff of fantasy.

John Rhys-Davies probably does not include this on his acting resume. Even John Mills, Cliff Robertson, and Horst Bucholtz are in this awful film. The pay must have been pretty good.

The story: Dale (Shields) is the daughter of a auto designer in the early part of the 20th C. He dies testing a new car that he wants to enter in the Sahara race - a gruelling, men only test of machine and survival. To save her father's dream and the plant, she disguises herself as a boy and with the help of her father's friends, enters the race. Bon-bon, as the men call her, is a great driver, so she has a good chance of winning. After she crosses the start line and is out of reach, she tears off her wig and mustache, revealing her true sex.

Unfortunately, there is a tribal war going on in the desert. To take the known shortcut means traveling close to the conflict, but she's willing to do it to save her father's dream. So is Horst Bucholtz's character - an unscrupulous man who is suppling weapons to the evil leader of one of the tribes. The other leader, the youthful Jaffar (Wilson), has seen Dale and wants her for his own. But before he gets her, his uncle (Davies) comes across Dale and her crew and her car and takes them hostage. She is sent to his tent where she will become his woman. But Jaffar intercedes and saves Dale by claiming her as his bride.

Dale marries him, has sex, and then escapes the next morning in her car to finish the race. But alas, she is caught by the evil leader. A stow-a-way gypsy manages to run back and tell Jaffar what happens, and he rallies his men to finally defeat the evil leader. He rescues Dale from a pit of leopards, and in an act of selfless love, allows her the freedom to continue her race - believing that she will never return.

Well, Bon-bon wins the race, and as she is celebrating, she sees Jaffar's riderless stallion on the near dune. She says goodbye to her friends, mounts the horse, and rides back to Jaffar. He rushes out to meet her, mounts the horse, and they ride off into the sunset after a really awkward kiss.

This could have been a fun movie, but the script (a Golan-Globus production) is so bad and Shields is so bad, that the whole thing becomes pure melodrama. But it's still fun. And if you love romance, like I love romance, it's a great film to watch with your best friends.


Gena Showalter said...

Ohmygod! I LOVED loved loved this movie. In fact, I think I need to go order the DVD because it's time for another viewing...

Kelli McBride said...

I have in on VHS! Isn't it just the most dreadful movie? Yet, I can't help but love the whole set up. If only they'd have cast a better actress (though Brooke looks divine in the movie), and if only they'd even out the script!

Gena Showalter said...

I went and checked and it hasn't been made into a DVD yet. Crap! I was so looking forward to seeing it again. Excellent pick!

Kelli McBride said...

We'll have to have bad movie night, and I'll bring my VHS copy.

I'm trying to plan a Barbara Cartland movie night at Mandy's because she has all of BC's films on tape. Some of those will pop up on my list.

Rinda Elliott said...

Yeah, when are we doing that Barbara Cartland thing? Not that I'm looking forward to the movies -- but the company is always good.

Never saw Sahara. I can't decide whether to check it out after your review or not. heh heh

As soon as this movie room is done, I plan to have you out to watch some of these guilty pleasure movies. Your #1 reminded me of the Blue Lagoon. Oh man, it sucks you in every time because it's so BAD!!!

But nothing is as bad as living through my daughter's brief obsession with Drop Dead Fred. The agony!


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ABD, Associate Professor of Language Arts & Humanities at an Oklahoma 2-year college; web site designer; devoted aunt to Lauren.